Regrets - Part 1

I am pissed off!

I am pissed off and sick with everything!
Everything that I have done!
And I ask to myself, "Why?"

"Why the heck would you do it?"
"Why would you even want to do it in the first place?"
"No one asks you to do it. Yet you have to do it, because it seems nice for you to do it and no one else should do it except you."

Well, you want to know what I think?

For God's sake, do you want to know what I think?

I think that I'm an idiot. A goody-two-shoes, A person who tried so hard to leave a good impression and a good name that ends up suffering on his own. No one cared who I was, who I am, and who I will be. No one!

And then I ask myself back. "Then why?"

I have never been so "kind" or "brave" or "trustworthy" like this before and I will never be. But people misunderstood it because I did what was the right thing to do, granted my position and situation at that time. No one understand me better, no matter how many times I told them my story. People would listen then shrugs and says, "It's your problem, not mine."

If he is your friend, which he is as he continuously talks about you in front of my face, then why don't you help him? Why weren't you there when he needed you?

Oh, so when I need people, they don't come right at that moment to me. But when he need people, people come rushing to him like some sort of emergency. I know! I know! He broke his leg. So what? Not that he broke his back or what.

Yes, I know I shouldn't be talking like that since I have never broken my leg or any parts of my body.... But won't you agree with me too?

Say to me that you would take care a big-sized person who talks non-stop and loves to argue with people who try to confront him and tell him the truth by refusing and denying that very fact.

Say to me that you are willing to push said person on a wheelchair, most of the time by your own, and have to haul the said wheelchair to the back of the car, while carrying a pair of crutches, repeatedly.

Say to me that you are eager to listen to every single commentary on the impeccable efficiency of public hospitals and government agencies to serve the needy and disabled people, and also the lack of access for the latter in faculties and universities, every single night.

Say it to me. Say it to my freaking FACE!

You never know the truth behind the so-called 'friendly', 'caring' and 'calm' person that broke his leg recently.

And, you never learn the truth behind the person who are always there right beside him, pushing the wheelchair who smiles a lot and make silly jokes.

No, you don't. And stop talking like you know.

I have my patience too.
I have my life to live too.
I have my friends too.

I don't deserved to be stuck here with you.
Not anymore.

So yeah, I was so happy that now you're gone forever from my life.
Rest assured, I hope I won't be seeing for the next 5 months.
And hopefully, I beg to you God please, forever.